bathing suits… ughhhh

Probably the best way to make you feel bad about yourself is to try on a bathing suit.  So maybe not everyone feels that way, but I know I do.  I’m not huge into swimming. I am a high maintenance chick.  I know it doesn’t totally seem that way with all the mud runs and stuff, but I generally don’t like being somewhere when I don’t have make up on or my hair done.  So I think the last time I actually wore a bathing suit was, well I can’t even remember.

Then something clicked in my head and all the sudden all I wanted to do was swim, maybe it was the heat this summer, I don’t know, but when Brandi and I booked our room in Vegas for September, all I had in my head was swimming in the hotel pool.  So I went searching for a bathing suit.

I already had a few things going against me the first being its the end of August, sure everything is on sale, but they are also sold out.  Second what the heck size am I since  I had to order online.

That is the suit I bought… I thought it would be flattering with the draping on the front.  I wasn’t expecting to look like the girl in the picture but i didn’t think it would be a disaster.  I suppose it isn’t horrible but it definetly isn’t made that well.  I ordered a size larger than I thought I would be (because it said to) and it is slightly too big so it doesn’t like squeeze me in at all like I hoped, but the way it was printed it actually turns almost sheer on the back.  Should I do a test soak in the shower to make sure that it doesn’t turn see through when its wet? lol.  I also apparently have a long torso, who would have thought, I am only 5’2 on a good day, and I am kind of too long for this bathing suit.  I honestly thought by now I would be a little more comfortable with myself.  I think what is taking its toll on me now is only having things that actually fit half the time.  So many of my clothes hang on me funny that now I just constantly feel frumpy.  Then putting on a bathing suit last night sealed the deal.

I realize I have lost a lot of weight already, but I am still no where near the goal that I am still not sure of other than “I want to be happy with my appearance”.  But seeing myself in a bathing suit made me feel so vulnerable that I know the first time I step foot out by the pool I will be super uncomfortable, but we’ll see.

Am I still going to hang by the pool in Vegas?  Probably.  Am I going to buy a cute cover up?  Absolutely.  I am also going to look for a different better suit when I am out in LA since NYC is wiped out of anything decent.  All I care about right now is getting out of New York and going out to see my friends in LA and having fun!

AND

The countdown has begun.  I am finally up to 34 pounds, 1 pound left until I reach another little milestone in my journey.  These last few pounds have been so tough to get rid of, I have switched up my routines and been working harder than ever, but the pounds are coming off slower and slower.  Hopefully I can hit the 35 pound mark while I am in LA, and maybe I can get one of my awesome LA photographer friends to do a quick shoot for me to celebrate hehe.

 

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2 Comments

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2 responses to “bathing suits… ughhhh

  1. That’s an adorable bathing suit. All you need is a black and sheer caftan to look chic.

    I remember the first time I lost weight I struggled with clothes shopping because I didn’t know how to dress my new size. I’d just grab a bunch of different sizes and hit a fitting room for awhile. You could probably take some of your clothes to a good tailor to get modified.

    • thanks! I thought it was super cute too, I just wish it was made a little better, I would have totally be disappointed if I paid full price for it

      I thought about taking my clothes to a tailor but a lot of them are too big to work with, I went from an 18- a 12. so there is nothing much that they can do with that big of a jump. I have bought a few new dresses but my proportions are off right now so some stuff just doesn’t fit right. its driving me nuts lol.

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